Monday, April 11, 2011

Vandana's leads~!

First lead- descriptive: After throwing her keys and bag onto the counter, she walks into her kitchen, washes her hands, and then starts to take out a few things from here and there-- a tablespoon of raisins, a few cups of honey, a teapot, a handful of nuts, half a stick of butter, and a thick cookbook that has printed in large letters, Recipes for a Small Planet. A few moments later, she puts the resulting mixture in the oven, and, instead of munching from a bag of popcorn or a chocolate bar to kill the time like most people, she reaches for a stalk of broccoli. About an hour passes, and she emerges from the kitchen with delicious, healthy muffins and a large pot of tea.

Second lead- descriptive: She walks into the cafeteria of the hospital she works at, and sits at a small table, ready to eat her lunch. Her friend walks over and sits next to her, a large slice of greasy pizza releasing its’ disgusting stench to her nostrils. She shakes her head, and takes out a large container and a spoon from her bag, ready to dig in. She opens the lid of the container and starts to eat her delicious meal-- lentil soup with shredded cabbage?

Third lead- descriptive: After her stomach declares for food, she takes yesterday’s leftover lentil soup from her large fridge and thinks of ways she could change it up a little, instead of eating the exact same thing as yesterday. After thinking for a while, she opens her fridge again and starts shredding a large head of cabbage into the bowl.

Note: Yeah, I’m thinking of changing the food “she” eats in the third lead because I know I kind of overdid it with the lentil soup and the cabbage already :D

--Star (Vandana)

5 comments:

  1. I think duh first one is the best because it actually shows me what your feature is going to be about more clearly than the others, which only talks about food and briefly about recipes.
    -Brian

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  2. The first is the best, and seems like the one you spent the most time on.

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  3. I think the first one is the best, while the second one comes close...however, the second lead seems to be a little more like an opinion lead than a feature lead.

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  4. My favorite is the first, 2nd favorite is the second, and 3rd favorite is the last. They're all good, but I feel that the first one, more fully expresses the ideas that you are trying to express. If you use #1, there should not be a comma in between 'and' & 'instead' and there should be 'been' in between 'has' and 'printed'. if you want to use the second lead, i would check to see if an apostrophe is needed after 'its'. The leads were all really good. Can't wait to read.

    -Mister Pip (Daniel)

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  5. first one is the best because of the detail
    --Bikramjit

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